Well, you could have knocked me over with a bulldozer after I got through reading two days worth of articles in The Snooze about how public monies got poured down the drain faster than the stale beer at the Breckenridge Brew Pub that was last seen floating down the Colorado River sporting a big banner saying, “I got mine and I’m taking it with me.”

Not to be outdone by a fellow scribbler, Donn Esmonde, of the same Snooze, waded in and slammed Too Tall Tony for being a lousy basketball player and a failure to become a Rhodes Scholar and an intelligent mayor. At least, Heaney spread the failure to include the administration of former mayor Jimmy Griffin and didn’t mention how mediocre 3T was as a basketball player. In fact, Heaney didn’t mention any names connected to the disappearing funds, but he did manage to quote the beady-eyed, mustachioed troll who is the resident expert on all things governmental and heads an outfit called the Buffalo/Niagara Partnership/Enterprise.

Should it really surprise any of us that public monies disappear down rat holes dug by corporate elites and the politically connected? Our world’s history is a richly woven tapestry of corruption and scandals and the bold buccaneers who stole more with a slap on the back and a firm handshake than all of the armies since the time of Alexander. Our very own Empire State was an important player and training ground for generations of thieves since before the time of Aaron Burr. The legacy of Boss Tweed and Tammany politics lives on in Albany and in all of the little burgs that comprise our great state.

Reformers have risen from the pits of the political cesspool, promising to restore democracy and fair play and to restore trust in governmental functions, and the media, that great champion of the people, have shouted their huzzahs and have spread the mantle of honesty to the shoulders of those visionaries who will soon fall back into the slime from which they arose. Ah, yes, even the readers of history succumb to the sins of the past, and editors and writers seem to be at the greatest peril, excepting myself.

Dorothy and Toto are no longer in Kansas, and Alice has returned from Wonderland, but we are still imprisoned in a world of our own design. Why don’t we or why can’t we just admit that change is one thing that we refuse to accept. We are comfortable with the devils we know rather than with the idea of venturing into the unknown world of ethics and personal responsibility.

Fear not, brothers and sisters, the revelations embedded in Jim Heaney’s series appearing in The Buffalo News only serves to remind us of the immortal words of Pogo: “We have met the enemy and he is us.” The great lamentations over the recent elections for various public offices should remind us forcefully that we are neither all on the same page nor do we read from the same book. George W. Bush is in and trees are out, and the war will continue, and the money will still flow into the subterranean coffers of Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. How I wish that I could be tight with either one and proudly say, I got mine you’ll have to get your own. But, alas, I am too lazy to petition HUD or to smooch backsides in search of loot from Kellogg Brown and Root.

The calculus of individuals and human psychology does not allow for quantum leaps into perfection, so do not be amazed that one can be anything more than what he or she is. In other words, when choosing leaders, be assured that what you see is what you’ll get and, as the old cliché repeats, “You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.” Just relax, lean back, and remember that there will always be another election, and you can vote for the clown of your choice, maybe.

by Bill Logal

“ Me thinks that foul odor originates from here, but then I smell it over here and also there, by the great Lord Harry, it’s everywhere.” Bro. Guillaume

Oh, woe is me, and woe is us for Jim Heaney and The Buffalo News have now informed us that our beloved city and its administrative system are not functioning properly and might be tainted with corruption, ineptitude, or a severe case of acne.